We Eyed We Tied

Calculating How Many Wedding Songs You Need

  • August 22, 2009 at 9:57 pm



Author: Mae Andrea

Wedding songs will play an integral part on your wedding day, but many couples will underestimate just how many songs they need and when to play them. Most of us know we will need to have wedding songs for the ceremony and for the evening reception party. However, many of us forget that we also need songs for all the bits that happen in between the ceremony!

Basically you will need to choose appropriate wedding songs for the following elements of your day:

  • The ceremony – processional, recessional and interlude
  • The cocktail hour
  • The wedding breakfast
  • Cutting the cake
  • First dance
  • Evening party

Your ceremony will require a choice of songs for when you walk down the aisle, the interlude whilst you sign the register and when you walk back up the aisle. You may also need some music to play in the background whilst your guests take their seats. If you are having a religious ceremony you will also have the option of choosing some hymns to sing during the ceremony.

After the ceremony comes the cocktail hour. At this point you are likely to be busy having your wedding photographs taken so your guests will congregate, probably around the nearest bar, to chat and mingle amongst themselves. This is a nice opportunity for everyone to relax, look forward to the feast to come and to meet and greet old and new friends. So you can help to set the mood with some nice gentle background music – perhaps classical or instrumental songs.

Choose similar music to play during the wedding breakfast which will help to avoid any dramatic silences around the room! Music really does help to get people talking and to help relax the atmosphere in the room. Just make sure it isn’t too loud or raucous and that your guests don’t have to compete with it to make themselves heard!

You can choose a modern song for your cake cutting ceremony or continue with the background music already playing. Your first dance will see the two of you take to the dance floor on your own and many couples like to choose a romantic love song, perhaps one which holds particular significance to them.

Your timings will be crucial when it comes to determining how many wedding songs you will need. Ask your wedding officiant and reception venue about a timeline for the ceremony and the reception so you can make sure you have enough music to last each element of the day. It is also worth ensuring you have a few extra songs just in case you run over time, although having the repeat function selected on the sound system can work well as chances are your guests won’t notice that you have gone back to the first song! If you are compiling your own CD’s check the running time on the disc against the suggested timings for the particular section of the day you are recording for and make sure you mark all your CD’s according to when they should be played, i.e. Ceremony, Cocktail Hour.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/weddings-articles/calculating-how-many-wedding-songs-you-need-1150544.html

About the Author:

Mae Andrea is a professional writer who collects wedding favors and wedding related articles. Another interesting part of her collections is the list of wedding songs especially gathered for all couples out there.


Update me when site is updated

The Right Age to Be Married

  • August 22, 2009 at 9:53 pm



Author: Belsheba Nyabwa

A few years ago, it was normal to find a twenty one year old who has achieved the major milestones in life; that means that one has graduated from college, is married and has a number of children.

Today, many people are pursuing their careers and putting marriage aside up to their later years of life. It is common to find a thirty year old lady, still single and deeply engrossed in building a career. Is this right?

Another issue that causes people to get married in their later years is that many parents shield their children from the world while arguing that their children are very young. You may find a twenty five year old man living with his parents who are willing to accommodate him for as long as possible, making their son not to grow up.

I am challenged by young men in their early twenties, who are in the army. These men are independent, can make sound decisions and are often entrusted with very expensive firearms. Why then should some parents feel that their twenty five year olds’ are too young to marry?

If we allow our children to be responsible from an early age, we will be confident to see them enter into marriage as long as they are above eighteen years old and have met a desirable partner. With a family, people are compelled to work harder in life as they have no other option but to fend for their families.

For those focusing on building careers at the expense of marriage, I would like to advise that they take another thought and reconsider their decisions. After all, we all need someone special to share our life with.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-right-age-to-be-married-1150868.html

About the Author:

Belsheba contributes her experience in self development tips that will help direct your life in the right path. Website: Self Development Tips to improve your life.


Update me when site is updated

How to Be Loved by Your Husband More - Ways to Get Him Emotionally Closer to You

  • August 22, 2009 at 9:47 pm



Author: Gillian Reynolds

If your marriage has changed over time you may want to learn how to be loved by your husband more. It’s frustrating and disheartening to be married to a man who seems more distant emotionally than when you two first wed. It’s no surprise that everyday life events can take the wind out of the sails of even the most passionate of marriages. If you’ve been feeling as though your husband is drifting away from you emotionally, there are ways you can pull him back so he’s closer now than he’s ever been before.

Understanding how to be loved by your husband more starts with recognizing that both of you have changed since the day you wed. Over time a couple is bound to suffer through some periods when they don’t feel as connected to each other. Men handle this type of situation much differently than women do. We tend to become overly emotional and panic. Our goal is to remedy the situation as fast as we possibly can, but men don’t feel this same urgency at all. They prefer to sit and wait. They want to think through their feelings and in many cases a man can find his way back to being deeply in love with his wife, if he’s left alone. So each and every time you feel the need to barrage him with questions about what he’s feeling, don’t. Give him some space and he’ll soon realize just how much you mean to him.

You must also never lose sight of the fact that you are your own person. Many women fail to see this and it’s easy to understand how that happens. When a woman becomes a wife and then a mother, she will often push her own needs and desires aside in favor of what her family requires. If you are guilty of doing this, you’re hurting the primary relationship you have with your spouse. You have to take care of yourself, first and foremost. Your husband wants to be married to someone who is not only caring, loving and responsible, but also someone who is passionate about her own interests and full of life. Your husband will instantly be more attracted to you if you follow your own dreams. Show him that you’re still the well rounded, fascinating woman he fell in love with.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/how-to-be-loved-by-your-husband-more-ways-to-get-him-emotionally-closer-to-you-1151764.html

About the Author:

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.

You don’t have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you.


Update me when site is updated

Newlywed New Beginnings

  • July 12, 2009 at 11:04 am

Things are really exciting for newly wed couples. Indeed, it is a new beginning. This stage in marriage is full of thrill, excitement, and fun. There are more revelations and discoveries about your partner. During your wedding ceremony, there are so many well wishes. Before that, there were countless advices during bridal shower and stag party about becoming a good wife or a good husband. Advices, either solicited or unsolicited, are full of dos and don’ts which can be good and at the same time draws pressure on you if you load them all in your heart and try to apply everything from day one of your marriage. You have to be wise really in following those advises because not all will apply to you.


However, since newly weds will go through period of adjustments, there is a handful of things that you need to bare in mind. These things are maybe from those advices that you heard from family members and friends. There are three major things that you should pay attention to, and these are proximity, finance and communication.


Proximity means close relationship. Any relationship grows closely when two people spend time together. Along these lines, Newlyweds must spend time together regularly. This will definitely establish their relationship as husband and wife. We have to note that there are things that you will only discover after the wedding regardless of how the long engagement period was. Thus, doing things together and spending time together, will allow them to discover each other and grow together intimately.


Finance is another major thing in marriage. Not being able to handle finances shake marital relationship. Therefore, budgeting is important. Planning is important. If the couple does not plan then marriage is bound to failure. Both has to set up and agree to the budget that both can live comfortably. Saving for the future is also essential. It has to be included in the budget plan. It is wise to prepare and set aside.


Communication is fundamental in marriage. Talking to your spouse is making you understand your spouse and vice versa. Communication is sharing ones thoughts, feelings, and even one’s soul. Express yourself beyond limit because it connects the inner side of you to your spouse. However, when in disagreement, make sure that you are careful with your words that it will not break your spouse. Words can either mend or worsen the situation.


As newly weds, you do not have to go wait and go through the problems that are predictable for you to know better and make things right. Looking at the experiences of others, and learning from their mistakes are a wise move to steer clear of these problems. This will help you avoid the potholes in the road.

Update me when site is updated

Ingredients for a Happy Marriage

  • July 11, 2009 at 2:28 am

Everybody wants to know the ingredients in the recipe for a happy marriage, but this recipe has become a secret; or so it seems. In our society, it isn’t a common occurrence for a couple to put a lot effort towards keeping the love alive and vibrant in their marriage relationship. Well, they try but somehow realizing in the long run that taking care of each other doesn’t seem that much fun, unlike the first year of the relationship. What people fail to recognize is that the most important ingredients for a happy marriage are usually right under their noses. Two of those ingredients are simply ones; show appreciation for each other and display gratitude for every kindness no matter how small.  

There are other common acts that qualify as obvious ingredients for a happy marriage. They may work for you depending on whether you wish to spice it up you relationship a notch or not. Still, every marriage is worth the effort to keep together. Just bear in mind that the person you vowed to love is going to stay with you for the rest of your lives and it’s going to be up to you both to keep the fire burning while you’re getting there.  

Keeping a close connection to your spouse is always a good bet. Try to make an effort to ask how their day was and take an interest in what they have been up to.  Sincerely respond to their talks and try to have time to go out and take a break by yourselves. It is quite understandable to feel tiresome if your marriage is stuck in a routine, so all the more ways you can find to surprise each the better. These are ways to revive the feelings that have been aside due to activities that have set you both off in different directions.  

Another ingredient in the mix for a happy marriage is passion. The first passions of the marriage inevitably die down after a couple of years or even a few months into the marriage and you will need some reinforcement to liven up the intimacy with your spouse. Although, it won’t be as often as before, make sure you give each other a significant amount of passion when any opportunity presents itself.

Lastly, do not forget to laugh. Laugh at each other or laugh with each other, it doesn’t matter. Laughing makes you feel young, happy and it brings back emotions that make you remember those past joys and precious memories.  Make each other feel that you still remember and that you still love one another. This will be the icing on the top of the proverbial marriage cake that you will bake when you combine these ingredients for a happy marriage.

Until next time…

Update me when site is updated

Can My Marriage Be Saved?

  • June 20, 2009 at 12:27 am

A marriage in crisis can be one of the most emotionally draining and painful experiences a person can go through in their entire life; outside of death of a loved one or major disease.  This type pain can be felt in such an intense way that a person may feel that he or she you may just die from it.  I have been told in counsel sessions that people have actually been so emotionally overwhelmed that they have fell to their knees and cried out loud in emotional pain; sort of like Job, from the Bible’s Old Testament, as he cried out to God.  Many that still discuss it, say that the crying out was a cry for help to a higher power (God?) because they did not think they could survive it through their own power.  We are not saying that everyone will need help from a higher power to survive marital problems, but it would surely help.

Once the darkness of an affair (the main reason for marriage in crisis that we are discussing today) comes to light, the first step that is required of the parties involved (the husband and wife) is to not make any hasty decisions right away.  An evaluation of the true feelings of the partners is needed to determine the path the marriage will take at this point; do they want to try and save it or is it too late for either or both partners?  Every problem can be overcome, but both partners must want the marriage to survive.  A separation from each other is sometimes necessary for each partner to clear their minds of any unsavory thoughts and try to focus on what is best for themselves, their children (if any) and their marriage.  At this point, we hope (and even pray) both partners are convinced that the marriage is a priority worth saving.    

Once there is a desire by both partners to save a marriage after an affair; the recovery can take many different directions depending on the cause of the problem and the disposition of each partner.  Although, a willingness to save the marriage and do whatever is necessary to reach that goal is a big decision for some people in a marriage in crisis.  Most people that have gone through it will tell you that it would have been much easier to just separate and get a divorce.  The process (without going into too much psychological/counseling type detail) is very intense and can last for many months, even years.  It is a matter of changing the way each partner looks at things and how they think about almost every aspect to the relationship.  Ultimately, it is a matter of changing their very thought processes.

Oh, there are instances where these type actions are not required for a couple to decide to remain together after an adulterous affair, but in my experience these marriages will be in crisis again within a few years.  Possibly for the same reason, but regardless of the reason, they almost always return to the crisis state.  For a crisis marriage to return to stable ground, every issue of contention must be addressed and worked through.  Forgiveness must be given and taken by both partners; I have found that in every occurrence of marriage in crisis, both partners are at fault, at least to some extent. 

I believe that the above reasoning is one of the major factors as to why the divorce rate is so high in our society.  Bottom line is this; the downfall of the family is one of the symptoms of the high divorce rate and to make any major inroads towards rebuilding our society these issues of family and marriage must be changed.  That is my opinion and I’m sticking with it.

Until next time…

Update me when site is updated

Love Talk

  • June 19, 2009 at 2:45 am

Love is delightful and pleasurable. It satisfies our soul and fills our spirit. It is ignited from within and radiates in our entire being.

I for one am amazed, even mystified and captivated by love. My love story is not an extra ordinary event. It is very common and perhaps has been similarly experienced by a number of women across the globe.

My marriage is a product of a long distance relationship.  Long distance relationship is not easy but it is not impossible. As I recalled, my idealism was not in favor of it before. I thought I could not handle a relationship like that. But looking back, what made that relationship survived was the kind of love that we have for each other. It was hard to classify that feeling but our love started from a genuine friendship. Before we became steady, we used to be good friends. In fact, I had a beau and he had an inamorata too when we started our friendship. We became best buddies and he was my confidant in many matters because he knew where I was coming from. He could understand my concerns because he himself grew up in a broken family. Note that I did not find him attractive. There was really no spark. He was just a plain teenager to me. So i can really honestly say there was no desire and he was just a ordinary friend for me.

So one time, he left our place because he went to a different college. In that time, communication was cut for a year. When he came back, things had been changed. It was not plan. We were both at the phase of mending our broken hearts. When he visited me at home, we were just catching up and talking about how things were in my end and his as well, until we arrived to the point of agreeing that we would want to try out if the two of us would work together as lovers.  That was really silly but we did it anyway. So that marked the new level of our relationship from buddy to steady.

After college I had to move to another province. The distance would take an 8 hours ride by bus from my home town to the new place where I was working as a college instructor. He was left then. He had few more years left to finish college. During those times, mobile phones did not exist. Internet cafe had not been part of the business industry yet in our place back in 1996. So the only means of communication was through snail mail and sometimes long distance calls. We would only see each other during school break and summer vacation. It had been like that for 2 years and 6 months to be exact.

As of today, we are already 11 years married. It was not an easy 11 years because life passes through mountains and valleys. But we meet head-on these challenges together. We still have a long way to go, we are not sure of what lies ahead but the love that we have for each other will truss us even more.

mlca

Update me when site is updated

Third Wheel

  • June 19, 2009 at 12:19 am

What is the other wheel? Does marriage has wheels in the first place?

A word is rich with meanings. It can be literal or symbolic or even both. In the context of marriage let us talk about wheel as the person. The 1st wheel is the husband and the 2nd wheel is the wife. The 3rd wheel is a mistress or a lover. This topic is a bit sensitive issue because it is a spouse’s nightmare that is coming to a reality so to speak. As a married individual, you may or may not agree to some points or opinions that are being related but still spare me a room for my thoughts.

Not all marriages went through the trauma of extra marital affairs. There are still marriages that have kept their bed pure. There are also seasons in marriages. All went through difficult times as well as bliss. However for the few who happened to experience the existence of a third wheel, then this exposé may be familiar.

What cause a person to engage in extra marital affair? Reasons may differ but there are four common grounds that lead to third wheel.

The first one is the foundation of marriage that has been marred. Neglected responsibilities, spoiled duties and poor communication are the rust that obliterates a happy marriage. This will really eat the person’s soul and spirit. The constant disagreement bruises the individual. There is really a big tendency that your spouse will be driven to find someone who can restore him or her;

Second is the self-esteem issue. This is not the result of marital fights. This is rooted by a psychological need. A person may be able to put up an outward show to cover his problem. A person who has this problem tends to seek for other people for love. He or she is misled by the thought that having another person in his or her life can boost sense of self;

Third is shortage of love. There are two kinds of people who feel this shortage. One, People who can not get enough love from his or her own home will eventually look elsewhere. Second, people are in love with love. Marriage moves on to the next level of love. Bear in mind that the kind of love that you once shared before marriage is simply not there anymore because love grows. The excitement and passion are already different than the first time you met your spouse. But the spouse hangs on to that kind of love and wants to reawaken the feeling with someone else;

Fourth one, which is the last, is Sex. Sex has a major rule in marriage. It is an ultimate expression of love. Couples should understand the importance of sex in marriage. If this is neglected, it surely leads to an affair.

So how can you prevent your spouse from having a third wheel? Everything goes back to meeting the need of your spouse. This is not a one-way street but a two way street. Both need to work it out. Communication is the key to a healthy and open relationship. The art of communicating to your spouse has to be learned and mastered so that things can be discussed honestly and solutions can be drawn from any crisis whether a personal issue or marital concerns.

mlca

Update me when site is updated

Great Expectation

  • June 18, 2009 at 12:33 am

Expectation is a good word. It is something that allows one person to be hopeful of something. It drives the person to be excited. However, in marriage there is a thin line that pulls a relationship down when expectation will stage-manage the partner.

What does it mean? It is whether you say it out loud or insinuate the matter to your spouse on things you assume him or her to do with regards to his or her role as a spouse and the responsibilities that encompass the role. These assumptions can pull both down.

Expectations with other people equates with disappointments. It is hard for others to live up with your expectation mainly because individuals are unique and have different ways in expressing themselves and accomplishing goals or arriving to an end.

I can give a situation or two where expectations to your spouse can lead to your own disappointments.

Situation 1. A wife expects her husband that every time there is a special occasion like anniversary or birthday, the husband would do something special. However, the husband gives her a bouquet of roses. And that was it for the day. The wife thought that he could have cooked for the occasion or even took her out for a candlelit dinner. So the wife got frustrated and just glanced at the bouquet and left it in the corner.

Situation 2. The husband is working hard. One time, he came home late for overtime at work to finish his sales report and presentation. He expected that his wife would welcome him home with warm hug, had prepared fresh meals and would give him a good body massage when he retires to bed. But when he got home his wife also tired from teaching at school, was watching a late night show while waiting for him. Upon realizing that he already arrived, she simply acknowledged, “Hi honey, I just ordered pizza for dinner and you can just get it from the fridge and microwave some slices for your dinner.” Then after that lights out and the wife dozes off. You can only picture the face of the husband.

Love languages vary. You simply can not expect your spouse to have the same love language like you. You may like to serve your spouse to show your love but your spouse on the other hand expresses his or her love by buying you gifts or by spending time with you or simply touching you and cuddling beside you.

You may request your spouse to give you a body massage like the husband wishes, you may asks for a dinner date like the wife imagines their special day. However, you can not super impose on your spouse your love language. Because expressing love is always authentic, genuine and never copied.

Expectation has the capacity to kill the marriage because it will always bring disappointments and frustration on the part of the person that is expecting how love must be expressed. To avoid frustrations, Take time to know the love language of your spouse. His or her love language can be service, giving gifts, spending quality time, physical touch or affirmation. Then after knowing the love language, always appreciate your spouse the way he or she expresses love because that is the way he or she is. The way you express your love language may also not what on his or her mind. So it is wise for both to know.

Update me when site is updated

Unloading Baggage

  • June 16, 2009 at 5:33 am

Emotional baggage is problematical. It always strains relationships especially between couples. It usually had been loaded up before the marriage. You are probably unaware before you marry the person and at the later part your spouse is already acting strange. This behavior surely is a threat to both spouses.


What is an emotional baggage? How was it stacked on your shoulder and rot your soul? Or eventually affect those you love?


A person with emotional baggage is carrying a psychological damage with unresolved anger from the past hurts caused by opposite sex. The person is emotionally and psychologically abused, deeply hurt from break-up, wounded trust and other sorts of negative experience. Sometimes this person is called “Walking Wounded”.


Once a person has an emotional baggage, logic is affected and emotions are messed up. Romance is far-fetched and behavior is also erratic. Despite of his or her desire to belong but the person views relationship as equivalent to pain and betrayal even if the other spouse is doing things right.


What one can do when you are married to someone who is “Walking wounded” is to unload this emotional “burden”. But how can you drop off the baggage?


There is no formula actually on how to unload things because every one is unique and responds differently to every situation…


Though it may take a while to clean up one’s inner closet due to the emotional clutters but it is worth it. Here is the crucial step towards healing.


The hurt spouse must will to let go. What happens in the past is considered history. What is inescapable is to face that you can no longer turn back time and undo the mistake and prevent the hurt. Emotional baggage is being operated by your subconscious. It is the one the stores the emotional garbage and poison your mind. Knowing that it is how it is machinated by your subconscious, refocus your mindset. Know that you have qualities that are worth loving for. Have the self-confidence that you need and discover your strength and your positive feature as a person.


But if your spouse has been carrying this baggage then you can probably walk him or her through it. Physical and emotional support can heal the hurt. Being present in your spouse’s life and encouraging him or her and by being patient with her can give a positive impact. Do not only give your spouse the assurance of your love and your vow but also act upon it.

Update me when site is updated