We Eyed We Tied And We Lived Happily Ever After?

We all know that major issues of marriages are third-party involvement, drug addiction, physical violence, and deception. These four can tear marriages apart. But there are some storms in marriage that are lesser than signal number 5, in fact it can be just a storm signal number 1. But you see conflicts in marriage start small. A little downpour can be a disastrous thunderstorm.

So when these typhoons are approaching in your marriage or have started to occur, start gripping for a rescue before marriage get wrecked and partners get hurt. We can name at least three.

Storm number 1 is the Emotional Starvation. We all have emotional needs. Needs have to be meet or else we go starved.  Emotional needs are crucial. It feeds our soul and stabilizes our senses. There are many ways that these emotional needs can be met. This has to be discussed by couples. The result of emotional starvation is indifference and maybe will lead to finding another person to meet this need.

Storm number 2 is iniquitous helper condition. This is a case when spouse has been merely treated as “house” help than partners. It is not right to treat the partner as such. “Helper” by its connotative meaning has less authority and definitely does not have ownership over those duties. Being reminded to do the task or complete the task is demeaning. This situation can burn out the partner physically and emotionally. It can result to lack of self-esteem and self-worth.

Storm number 3 is non-productive conflict. Arguments are inevitable. It comes and goes. But somehow when couple gets into heated conversation, it rises to digging up the previous fights and starts to blame the spouse. Nothing will be accomplished in this condition. This can end up to resentment.

There are actually a lot of circumstances in married life that are metaphorically being in a stormy weather. Relationship is agitated when horrific climate comes. It shakes both spouses. It affects not only the relationship but also the kids.

When one of these types of storms are experiencing in your marriage, do not wait to feel the great turbulence. Seek refuge, find help but most importantly open the communication system. Do not shut it down. Keep the connection. And one more thing, keep your focus on the issue and not on the person. If you attack your spouse, tendency is both of you will suffer, and eventually will crash your marriage.